Sorry about yesterday

I probably was crankier and snippier yesterday than I needed to be, with the whole vehicle abandonment thing. Life here has not been going well in January. DH and I are back to arguing about fundamental financial stuff. He took over the farm accounting in December and has done a fantastic job of getting those records cleaned up and organized. Then he said he wanted to start taking care of paying our utilities, which was another burden off my shoulders, so I agreed. Then he set up a very aggressive utilities payment schedule, dipping into savings to get all those accounts current and keep them there. So far so good, and I was frankly very surprised he was willing to go into savings to do that. But we had our primary land rental renewal payment due as of yesterday, and he’s refusing to pay it. We also have a hay balance due to our landlord (same individual as the land rent) and DH has been saying for three months that he’ll figure out a way to pay him back but so far hasn’t done so. Which means that we are in debt to our primary business vendor, a man I consider a mentor and even a grandfather figure, to the tune of $4100 with no set schedule for paying him back. Keep in mind that as of November 1st, we owed this man zero. All that debt has been acquired, either through hay purchases or land rental, in the last three months. Neither of those costs were a surprise – we’ve been renting land and buying hay from him for years. Yet all of a sudden it’s this big scary thing that (supposedly) came out of nowhere. And as of this morning we’re dead in the water for conversations between us about how to rectify that. Paying this bill in full, today, would use less than 1/10 what we have in savings. Not paying it means we’ll be paying 5x more for hay this year, because we’ll lose our pasture AND our hayfield. If we lose that land, and/or if our landlord decides he doesn’t want to deal with us anymore, this farm business as such is a big flaming train wreck. All that was coming to a head yesterday.

I sat down last night and wrote out a bunch of different options for the payback schedule, ranging from paying it all now out of savings like DH did with the utilities, to paying it out in ridiculously small increments which would have us making payments well into 2015. I have no idea if we’re going to be able to choose one or not this weekend. I also have no idea if our landlord will accept whatever payment plan we come up with, since he’s already within his rights to cancel our land rental and rent to someone else. Stuff here is really tense at the moment and I can’t believe after all this time, we’re still arguing about this crap. The farm business might very well be decided this weekend. Just please send us prayers or warm fuzzies or something so that we can chart a reasonable and constructive course through this latest crisis. A course which doesn’t have one or the other of us moving out. Yes, it’s that bad.